One evening, my daughter was talking about her high school theology class. She claimed that the male teacher told the all-girls classroom, “Wives are supposed to obey their husbands in a sacramental marriage” or something similar. The girls went berserk!

I have heard many provocative statements about sacramental marriage, especially Catholic wedding vows. It has been said that they make women subservient to men (but the man and woman give the same consent), that vows could be declared privately (but the mutual consent is strengthened by Jesus in the person of the minister), that the couple is entering into a covenant with God (but the bride and the groom are the only parties to the covenant; God joins them together), and other misconceptions.

I didn’t comment on what the teacher allegedly said in the class. I did tell my daughter to read The Order of Celebrating Matrimony, and then decide what the sacrament is and isn’t.

THE CELEBRATION OF MATRIMONY

Dearly beloved, you have come together into the house of the Church, so that in the presence of the Church’s minister and the community your intention to enter into Marriage may be strengthened by the Lord with a sacred seal. Christ abundantly blesses the love that binds you. Through a special Sacrament, he enriches and strengthens those he has already consecrated by Holy Baptism, that they may be faithful to each other for ever and assume all the responsibilities of married life. And so, in the presence of the Church, I ask you to state your intentions.

The Questions Before The Consent

N. and N., have you come here to enter into Marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly? Are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live? Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?

The Consent

Since it is your intention to enter the covenant of Holy Matrimony, join your right hands and declare your consent before God and his Church. (The bridegroom says) I, N., take you, N., to be my wife. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life. (The bride says) I, N., take you, N., to be my husband. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.

The Reception of the Consent

May the Lord in his kindness strengthen the consent you have declared before the Church, and graciously bring to fulfillment his blessing within you. What God joins together, let no one put asunder.